


Colorful Thoughts

by markiboss (purplelly)



Category: Septiplier - Fandom, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, mind reading au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 04:00:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7343926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplelly/pseuds/markiboss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For as long as he could remember, Jack could read minds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Colorful Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> SO I've been working on this monster for forever, and I finished it just in time, as I will be going camping tomorrow! So I'd thought I'd leave you with this fic before I left! I hope you enjoy!

Jack is extremely grateful he lives alone, and he’s reminded of this every time he travels.

It’s not that Jack doesn’t like people. He likes to think he’s an outgoing person. It’s just he can’t handle being in large crowds very well. Why? Well, Jack has a special power. He can read people really well - in fact, he can read their thoughts and feel their emotions.

The power had appeared when he was around five years of age. Maybe it had existed before, he learned to talk quite early in development, but he remembers it more clearly then.

He’d spooked his siblings and parents by repeating their thoughts out loud, or asking them what a word meant in their thoughts.

There was also his inane ability to read peoples’ emotions. Now, as Jack was older, he began to see it as a conductor of sorts. If someone felt a particularly strong emotion, it seemed to filter into Jack. This was harder to pickup than the mind-reading. When his parents were angry with him, especially in his teen years, it seemed to flood Jack and cause him to be angry in response, like a reflection. If someone was ridiculously excited, he would jump in place. If someone was sad, he’d want to cry himself.

Through years of learning, he’d figured out how to create barriers. It doesn’t stop the flow completely, but it lessens it significantly.

That being said, he’s still sensitive around large crowds of people. After a day at a convention, his head is throbbing from the thoughts and overwhelming emotions of so many people.

Strangely, when he’s in-the-moment on stage or at a meet-and-greet, he couldn’t feel better. Everyone’s excitement floods into him, it’s only later when it’s all over that his head recovers from such an event. An emotional hangover, he jokingly calls it. Jack has never been high at any moment in his life, but he’d associate the feeling to an entire convention’s emotions flooding his system.

Though, the headache that always follows felt like his head might explode. At the first con, this was unbearable. He’d tossed and turned for hours in his hotel room’s bed until settling into an unrestful sleep, and even then the headache never completely went away.

The evening of the second day of that con, he complained to Mark about the throbbing pain behind his eyes. Mark had thought for a moment before inviting Jack to his hotel room. He gave Jack as aspirin and a cup of water, before soaking a washcloth in the hotel’s sink. He gestured to the pillows on the bed.

Jack had taken what had been given to him. He crawled onto Mark’s bed, and flopped face down into a pillow. Mark set the cold wash cloth on the back of his neck and settled down beside Jack.

He was close enough their arms were pressed together, and even if Jack had the energy to put his barriers up, he wouldn’t be able to block out Mark’s thoughts while they were touching.

Mark had been watching the hotel’s TV though, and his mind was silent except for occasional concerns for Jack (which he didn’t mind in the slightest). Overall, Mark was content, and that feeling flowed into Jack.

After an hour, the headache went away completely. It became routine for every con they went to after that.

\----

The plane was crowded. The person next to Jack had his arm over the arm rest and it pressed uncomfortably to Jack’s. The man fell asleep some hours ago, but before it had been nearly unbearable.

The guy’s thoughts were all over the place. He was clearly afraid of flying. Jack didn’t need magic mind-reading powers to know this. He shifted in his seat every five seconds and frequently dabbed a handkerchief to his forehead.

Other than that, his thoughts were so panic-stricken it invaded Jack’s senses. He himself started to worry about the one in a million chance that the plane will crash.

Jack felt bad, initially, but he was never going to get some shut eye with his anxiety spiking up like it is. He finally suggested the guy try to sleep, or a least take a sleeping pill to ease his nerves. He did so, and was out like a light.

When a person is sleeping, their minds are blissfully quiet. Of course there’s activity, especially when they’re dreaming, but it’s much less when they’re awake.

In fact, the blankness made Jack drowsy himself, and he soon followed the man suit.

He awoke hours later to the person over the intercom announcing that the plane is landing in the great city of Boston. 

He texted Mark at the airport, his only ride through this complicated city. The reply was that Mark and Felix were both going to meet him.

When he exited the airport later, Mark and Felix greeted him. Felix brought him in for a hug, and Jack felt the other’s swell of excitement.

( _-he makes this whole con thing so much better-_ )

Jack couldn’t help but to grin back at Felix. He never goes directly digging into his friend’s minds, but certain thoughts slip through his barriers and he can’t help but to overhear. And hey, sometimes the thoughts aimed at him aren’t that bad to listen to.

When Mark wrapped an arm around Jack, he felt the same excitement, but with a hidden, or maybe pushed-aside, feeling of fondness. Hidden or shoved aside, it was a strong feeling, and left Jack a bit flustered.

( _-so happy to see him-_ )

Thoughts are sometimes hard to decipher. Well, most of the time. People don’t think in clear statements, it’s more like a whole mess of other things. Emotions are a big part of this. Jack describes thoughts like constantly shuffling a deck of cards. Or sand, when you pick up a handful and let it fall through your fingers. It’s not clear, it’s not precise, it’s emotions, usually, with words thrown in like puzzle pieces made for a child learning to talk. Some people have calmer minds, with less going on, and those people tend to wear their heart on their sleeve. Others have so many things going on inside their head it’s hard to keep up with, hard to find a single, clear thought. 

Everyone has clear statements once in a while, though. Jack can pick these up the easiest. They’re the type of thoughts that manage to slip through his barriers, because they’re a much more conscious thought and more powerful than the constant shuffling of phrases or words or emotions. 

Jack has met, especially through YouTube, the type of people with so much going on inside their heads. Right now, before his friends, even with his barriers up, he can feel the power behind their minds, constantly putting pressure against his barriers. And he’s curious. When he was bored in college, Jack would let his barriers down and look through his classmates minds. He’s found out.... _interesting_ things about them that way. 

He’s curious. He wants to know what they’re thinking. But he has morals, he’s decided. It’s a privacy invasion to go searching through his friend’s minds, and so he promises never to do it. (And anyway, he would rather not find out something about them that would make him never want to talk them ever again) (it’s happened before).

They spent that day mostly dicking around Boston, after Jack dropped his stuff off at his hotel. They took numerous selfies in places all over the city, announcing their arrival in Boston via Twitter.

The three of them went to dinner together. After months of living alone in the quiet of his apartment, in some small town in Ireland, it’s a big difference to be in bustling Boston. The large amount of people so suddenly gives his mind a workout in blocking out other’s thoughts and emotions. He doesn’t quite mind; it’s practice for the con tomorrow.

Jack was taking a sip of his soda when a clear, coherent thought slipped past his barriers.

_(--it’s illegal for him to be that cute--)_

He nearly choked on his drink. One thing he’s come to resent about this whole mind-reading thing is he always knows where a thought is coming from and where it’s directed.

In this case, it was aimed at him. And the source was Mark, sitting across from him. Jack became aware of his bright, brown eyes watching him.

Jack coughed a few times from the soda he almost inhaled and stinging the back of his throat. Felix occupying the booth beside him pat his back.

They both brushed it off, and Jack tried to hide his surprised blush with a napkin. It was totally normal for friends to think each other as cute, right? Yeah. Totally, 100% platonic. Because he’s had those thoughts of his friends before himself - well, _friend_ \--

Okay, Jack, just stop right there.

He tried not to think about it. And really, it just left his mind by the time the next day rolled around. He had the con occupying his thoughts.

The meet-and-greet on day one went without a hitch. The number of people made it near impossible to block out any thoughts, but the ones he managed to actually hear clearly were just excited jumbles of words. He felt the crowd’s - the _fan’s_ \- emotions more, and the thrill and joy and love he felt from them all left him dizzy afterwards.

And, like he expected, Jack was left with an awful headache when the sensory overload passed. Mark cast him a knowing glance, and after seeing Felix off, Jack followed Mark to his hotel room.

They went through their normal routine wordlessly. Mark sat on the bed with his back against the headboard while Jack swallowed an aspirin. Then he crawled in next to Mark and Mark placed the cool washcloth on the back of his neck.

Jack relaxed into the position with no trouble at all. At one point, Mark’s fingers began to comb through his hair, and he did not mind it one bit. 

When the headache had gone away, Jack didn’t want to move. He was so comfortable it felt like a crime if he left. He must have shifted in his position at one point, because he was sure the pillow his face was pressed against was actually Mark’s side. It didn’t seemed Mark minded; his fingers still ran through Jack’s hair.

“Did you fall asleep on me?” Mark asked. 

Jack groaned and chose not to answer. He felt Mark’s laugh rumble through the side Jack was laying on.

“It’s almost been two hours,” Mark said. “If we want to get up early--” He paused to yawn. “--We better get to sleep.”

Jack huffed, but sat up, rubbing at his eyes. He felt the words begin to creep into his mind - beginning with ‘cute’ about ten times - and slammed his barriers up. 

Years and years of dealing with this power has taught him to have thick skin and how to control his facial expressions no matter what he heard. He exercised this now, smiling pleasantly at Mark despite feeling utterly confused at the other thinking of him as ‘cute’.

“Thanks again,” He said. 

“Anytime,” Mark shrugged. 

Jack stood up from the bed, tossing the washcloth at Mark before hand, and stretched his arms above his head, relishing the popping in his stiff shoulders. 

This time it wasn’t words that slipped through his barriers, but an image. It was an imagined, and inaccurate, view of him shirtless.

Years of practice of controlling his expressions could not have prepared him for this. He let out a gasp even as the image was pulled from his mind as quickly as it had come.

Mark gave him an odd look, but Jack could spot the slight blush coloring his features. He was sure his own face was a much darker shade of crimson, though.

“Your shoulders bothering you?” Mark asked. 

Jack barely processed the question before he was nodding. “Yeah, yeah, just...stiff shoulders.” He clapped his hands together. “I’ll get going now. Like you said, we need to sleep! So, uh, see ya.” Mark offered a confused wave as Jack made a hasty retreat.

Stepping out into the hallway, Jack took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. If that thought - if that meant what he thought it meant--

No. No, he wanted to be sure. Maybe it was a one-time thing. He _has_ to be sure.

He hurried to his hotel room and tried to block out his own thoughts as he tossed and turned. He settled into an uneasy sleep.

\----

The second con day Jack woke up in an awful mood. It felt like he hadn’t slept a wink. He wondered how on Earth he was going to stay awake during the panel later.

Yet, it’s a miracle how a large cup of coffee and the thousands of emotions of hundreds of people can wake you up. In a matter of mere minutes, Jack was back up to his usual energy - well, technically _borrowed_ energy, but it’ll work for now. 

The panels are always fun. There was a comfortable distance between anyone that could invade his thoughts, which is all Jack could ask for. The only problem was when the Q&A started. When the askers walked up to the mic, often their thoughts are just their question on repeat. There’s been a couple moments where Jack has opened his mouth to answer that question, only to pause as the person asks their question aloud. He’s had to act like he totally wasn’t a mind reader afterwards to cover his embarrassment.

Even during a day where he didn’t interact with people as much as a meet-and-greet, the headache still ached behind his eyes. After the panel, Jack rubbed a hand over his eyes, and Mark smiled at him. 

“After we go get something to eat, we can head back to the hotel, alright?” Mark suggested, and Jack nodded. 

Felix was with them, and he knew all about the headaches Jack gets after a day at the convention. He gave him a pitiful smile. “We’ll get something quick and then you two can do your thing.” He raised a suggestive eyebrow at the end, and Mark swatted at him. 

But it reminded Jack of his current problem concerning the only American in the group. His eyes flickered to Mark, but he forced himself to keep his barriers up. He was _not_ going to go searching through his friend’s mind.

Dinner went quickly. Mostly because Jack struggled through the entire thing. A headache made it more difficult to keep his barriers up, and he desperately didn’t want anybody else’s thoughts circulating his mind aside from his own. His concentration made him neglect the food on his plate, but he wasn’t very hungry anyhow.

Mark and Felix obviously picked up on it. They hurried through their own meals and before Jack knew it he was being escorted back to the hotel. Felix wished them goodnight. Jack thought that Felix didn’t know what they do to cure Jack’s headache, but he knew it works and he doesn’t seem to question it.

On the walk to Mark’s hotel room, Jack’s main focus was not letting his barriers down. He was so concentrated on it, he had totally zoned out of what Mark was talking about until the man placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Jack, are you there?” Mark asked, teasingly.

“Oh - yeah, yeah, I am, sorry,” Jack said. “This headache sucks.” 

“Really bad tonight?” Mark said. “We can fix that.” The hand on Jack’s shoulders tightened briefly, and Jack had another, stronger image come to mind.

A full scene played out before his eyes. Mark pushed him against the wall of the hallway and kissed him roughly. His hands fisted in the front of Jack’s shirt, and out of his control, Jack’s hands tangled into Mark’s hair as he kissed back.

Jack jerked away from Mark’s hand on his shoulder. The connection broken, the scene was yanked from Jack’s thoughts. _Good riddance._

When he turned back to Mark, he was staring at him with a mixture of hurt and confusion. Jack offered a smile - unconvincing, forced - that wavered with the effort. 

“You know Mark,” Jack said. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears. “I’m kind of tired right now. I think sleeping is the best thing I could do right now.” He followed with a horribly forced laugh that grated on his own nerves.

Mark looked worried, and it also radiated off him in waves. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jack waved him off. Speaking made his head throb even more, but he had to get away, _had to_. “I’m fine. I can sleep this one off. Uh, thanks for the offer, though.” He turned to hurry in the direction of his hotel room, nearly tripping over his own feet. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” 

He didn’t look back to see if Mark was watching; he could feel his eyes on his back.

\----

He’d tossed and turned the entire night. The headache prevented him from giving his body a rest. Even with his room cloaked in darkness, the headache only ceased slightly, but it wasn’t enough to find complete rest.

When he got up the next morning, groggy and tired and with a throbbing head, he debated if he could come up with a good enough excuse to skip the final con day. But even thinking that made Jack sick with guilt, and he disregarded the idea.

So he forced himself to shower and dress, and in between practicing a smile in the mirror that didn’t show he was struggling inside his head. When he thought he got it down pat, he texted Mar--Felix. He texted Felix about where to meet up that day and they decided on some diner for breakfast.

Mark had cast him odd looks all through the meal, yet he constantly had an easy-going smile on his face. Jack felt the anxiety rolling off him in waves, but his neutral expression betrayed that. 

Jack hasn’t met someone who could conceal their emotions so well. For some reason, the thought made him sad.

He broke his own rule. He lessened his barriers just slightly and focused on the mind sitting across from him. 

He was hit with anxiety and worry. The only thing that seemed to be on his mind was the interaction from last night. Some thoughts Jack heard claimed that Jack hated him, that Jack felt weirded out by him, that Jack didn’t want to be seen around him anymore. The others argued by saying he was just overthinking things and to chill for one second, Mark, Jesus Christ. 

Jack had pulled his barriers back up very quickly, causing his head to spin and a fresh wave of pain to explode. He had no idea how much his reaction last night would affect Mark - who smiled kindly at him even as he thought about what to do. When he found a solution, he repressed his grin. 

Before they left the diner, Jack tugged Mark’s sleeve as Felix walked on and out of earshot.

“Hey, sorry about, uh, bailing on you last night,” Jack said, grinning mischievously. “I _really_ had to take a shit and I thought I’d spare you.”

Mark stared at him for a moment before breaking into giggles. 

“Oh, okay...?” His tone suggested he was confused, but Jack could feel the relief waving off him.

Feeling a bit less guilty, Jack began to walk after Felix and Mark followed.

The third con day was mostly just adventuring through the booths. They met numerous fans in between, and Jack tried to ignore the painful throbbing in his head as he forced a smile.

Afterwards, the headache could not have been worse. With such pain, it was difficult to keep his barriers up. If he had his own thoughts, they were drowned out by the steady stream of other thoughts flooding his mind.

Peace and quiet. That’s all he wanted right now.

When Mark offered some help, Jack accepted it without thinking. He really just wanted this headache to go away and Mark had the magic touch, after all.

They’d gotten into the same position as last time, with Jack’s face buried in Mark’s side. Even just laying down, he could feel the headache lessen in intensity.

He’d gotten used to having the other’s thoughts in his head during this time. He’s gotten used to feeling Mark’s emotions. Jack’s become good at not paying much attention to it, and instead pay much more attention to his own thoughts.

And while his head was in a much more calm place, the thought he’d overheard and been repressing came to mind. The image of Mark kissing him.

Jack guessed it would be futile to deny what it meant anymore. Mark was interested in him in more than a friend way.

( _this was exactly what he was trying to avoid)_

This has happened before. If he had to choose one thing he hated about this stupid power, it would be accidentally finding out people had crushes on you. Especially if he doesn’t like them back.

But _that’s_ not the problem here. _That’s_ not what Jack is most afraid of. This situation reminded him too much of--

( _too much of_ her _\--_ )

Mark’s mind had gotten awfully silent. Jack lifted his head up (the headache’s long since gone away) and found Mark had fallen asleep. Jack smiled fondly, without realizing it. 

He stood up, taking great care not to wake Mark up. Then Jack left to his own hotel room, and slept peacefully.

\----

He left back for Ireland the next day. It was just as upsetting as it always is. 

Jack’s much-loathed power made him feel what his friends felt as well. Their disappointment that it was over, the upset at being separated again. Their emotions fueling his own made it hard not to cry.

Both Felix and Mark hugged him before he left, and Jack caught small snippets of their thoughts.

Felix was already counting down the days to the next con they’ll all be together at. August, Pax Prime, he thought. He looked forward to it.

Mark was thinking along the same route, but he was mostly thinking how far away the next time they’ll be face to face is. 

Jack made sure he didn’t hear anything else.

\----

He pondered over - well, everything. 

The thoughts he overheard was on the forefront of his mind. He kept thinking about it over and over, and it took him long nights of tossing and turning, to realize he _liked it_.

But Jack couldn’t admit it to Mark. After weeks of replaying Mark’s thoughts and analyzing his own feelings about it, he’s come to terms with the fact their feelings are mutual. But _that’s_ the problem.

Jack has exes. And this power of his makes it impossible to keep a stable relationship.

The first girlfriend he had was when he was a teenager. He thought he was in love, and spilled the truth about his power to her. He ended up scaring her, and she broke up with him on the spot.

Jack was more careful afterwards. His first boyfriend a few years later he tried to hide it from. But he wasn’t good at it then, didn’t know how to properly shield his mind, and acknowledged his boyfriend’s thoughts out loud too many times. When he was confronted, Jack was the one who ended it, without ever admitting his power.

There were others, here and there. Some he’s repeated his mistakes, others ended on something entirely different going wrong. But one will always stick out in his mind, always haunt him when an opportunity like this comes up.

_She_ was the love of his life. _She_ was his longest relationship. _She_ was kind, and amazing, and spectacular, and they seemed like a match.

_He_ was the one to fuck things up.

He overheard her thoughts, made an assumption, and confronted her. She left.

Due to his own mistakes he lost her. Due to this damn power, he made such a mistake. He didn’t want to do it again.

So Jack promised himself to save him and Mark the trouble. Not acting out on these feelings is the better route. 

He kept telling himself that, even if he didn’t want to believe it.

\----

Miraculously, Jack somehow forgot his current problem. 

Of course, he’s reminded every now and then, namely when Mark’s videos are recommended into his YouTube feed. He’s managed to steer clear of Mark’s channel, as much as Jack missed listening to his voice when waiting for his own videos to render. But every time he heard Mark’s smooth baritone voice, he’s run over by a fuck-ton of guilt and faint nausea.

But there are moments when he momentarily forgets. When he’s so into a game there doesn’t seem to be anything to worry about except getting his character not killed(something he’s really bad at). Also when he’s focused on editing a video. 

And he’s gotten pretty good at avoiding his problems. Up until August came around and Pax started selling tickets. Jack’s already said earlier this year he’d be going to as many convention as he can, and he can’t back out on his word unless some reasonable excuse popped up.

( _it’s certainly not reasonable to say you can’t go to a con because you’re crushing on your best friend who will be there_ )

So he’s stuck with going. (And part of him wanted to anyway)

Jack didn’t expect to be greeted by his friends any differently than before. He supposed the only difference since last time was that this time they’re with Wade as well. 

His barriers were steel-strong. Jack made sure of it. For the first time, Jack did not catch a single thought from his friends when he hugged them, that’s how hard he was working. He was sure he broke a sweat.

And yet, even his strongest barriers weren’t enough to keep the emotions out. Jack felt ranges of happiness to excitement. He couldn’t be more relieved to not feel anything else.

Jack always arrived in America a day before the convention. That first day is mostly spent hanging out with friends before the stress of the convention can set in. 

He’s tried with increasing effort to avoid Mark. Avoid eye contact, avoid talking, avoid anything that has to do with him. Jack directed his conversations towards Felix and Wade instead.

Jack tried, tried very hard not to notice the way Mark’s shoulders would deflate when he ignored him, when Mark started to wring his hands nervously around him, when Jack could feel waves of anxiety roll off of him despite his barriers. Each and every time Jack caught a small signal of the other man’s discomfort, his worry, Jack felt his heart break a little.

Then the first day of the con. As it always was, Jack absorbed the emotions of everyone around him. It did not help that Mark was always beside him, or somewhere around him, close enough for Jack to feel the mixture of negative emotions. He couldn’t pin point exactly what Mark was feeling, but it didn’t feel good. He tried to filter out the emotions flooding his mind, but his barriers weren’t strong enough to do that, especially with so many people. The odd mixture of good and bad emotions made Jack slightly nauseous and the beginnings of a headache form.

At the end of the day, Jack just wanted to lie down, a wet washcloth on his neck and gentle fingers combing through his hair with a warm body beside him...

Jack shook his head. No, he couldn’t do that. He has to end their togetherness until their feelings ceased to exist.

So, yeah. By the time the four of them headed to their hotel rooms for the night, Jack was miserable and jumpy and exhausted.

He wished he could have just slipped away from the others and escaped to his room on his own, but as luck would have it, Felix and Wade left first, and that left Jack with Mark. 

The walk down the quiet hallways of the hotel was tense. Jack had a hard time putting up his barriers, and if there was a physical form of them, they’d be sticks tied with flimsy string. He could feel Mark’s worries, and it didn’t help with his churning stomach.

( _god what do i say its awfully quiet here is he upset oh no--)_

Jack sighed and pinched his fingers to the bridge of his nose. Taking a couple deep breaths, it calmed him enough to put a bit more strength to his barriers. If it was sticks before, now it’s branches. Still flimsy, but better.

A hand on his arm made him jolt, and the concentration broke. The branches, sticks, were blown away.

“Headache?” Mark asked, and his ability to smile so kindly while he worried so much amazed Jack. 

Jack nodded his response, shrugging the hand of his arm. Mark let it fall to his side, and Jack couldn’t ignore the hurt flash in his eyes.

“Well, here’s my room,” Jack said, placing a hand on the doorknob. “Uh, goodnight.” He cracked the door open. 

“Wait,” Mark stopped him. “Are you okay?”

Jack didn’t hesitate to answer. Flashing a smile, he said, “Yeah. Fine.” Then he turned back to his room. 

“Really? Because you don’t seem like it,” Mark said. He crossed his arms, and Jack forced himself not to stare.

A stirring of irritation began in Jack’s chest. It took him a moment to realize it wasn’t his own irritation, but Mark’s. Mark was angry with him. 

“Really,” Jack said, and he couldn’t help but add a tone to it. “I’m fine. I’m tired.”

Mark didn’t say anything, but he didn’t leave, either. Jack thought about just leaving, but then Mark was speaking again, and fast.

“You’ve been avoiding me, haven’t you?” Mark asked. 

Jack couldn’t think of an excuse in time. Mark visibly deflated. 

“Why? What did I do?” Mark asked. 

“ _Nothing_ ,” Jack said. He wasn’t sure anymore if the anger bubbling in his chest was his or just a reflection. “I haven’t been avoiding you. I have _other_ friends here, you know.” 

Hurt flashed in Mark’s eyes, before it was quickly replaced by anger. Or maybe that’s just what Jack felt radiate off of him. “This is the most words you’ve spoken to me since I’ve seen you. It isn’t as simple as you’re saying it is, Jack.”

“How would _you_ know?” Jack argued. “I can talk to other people! I don’t have to _always_ talk to you.”

“That’s not what--I wasn’t--” Mark stuttered, before he set his head in his hands. He let out a frustrated sigh. “You’re in _pain_ , Jack. You can barely function with the migraines you get. Let me help.”

“I don’t _want_ help,” Jack spit. “I can sleep it off. I’m _fine_.”

Mark looked up, and Jack was nearly toppled over with the amount of anxiety the other suddenly felt. A whole cacophony of words tumbled over each other in his head, drowning out Jack’s own thoughts. All of Mark’s worries, his insecurities, his anger, his frustration, his upset and absolutely everything else, Jack felt it all, and he couldn’t help pressing his hands to his ears to attempt to block it out. It never worked.

“ _Knock it off_ ,” Jack practically shouted, and he’s surprised he even managed to find words to say.

“Knock _what_ off?!” Mark’s voice, his _solid_ voice, not within his mind, was louder than the thoughts. 

A pause, and Jack wished he could hear the clearness of his voice again. 

“Jack? Are you okay?”

_(Worry worry worry nothing but worry about his dear crush huh jackaboy? and what’s gonna happen when **he finds out?)**_

_**(you know exactly what happens)** _

Jack nodded furiously - or maybe he shook his head - before hastily reaching for the half-open hotel room door. A hand grabbed his arm, and he shook it off. 

“ _Leave me alone_ ,” Jack spit, and promptly slammed the door before Mark could stop him. 

With shaking breaths and a throbbing head and worry worry worry and hurt hurt hurt he buried his head under the hotel pillows and wished, desired, for sleep.

\----

' _Sleep it off’_ that’s what he said, and what didn’t happen. 

His head hurt just as much as it did the night before, if not worse. It was miracle Jack even fell asleep. Though, it wasn’t really sleep, but more like a shutdown after an overwhelming experience.

His morning routine was all a blur. A shower in the hotel’s bathroom, brushing his teeth in the mirror ( _did he always have such bags under his eyes?_ ) then blindly picking out an outfit and hoping it matched.

At this point, it was impossible to put his barriers up. The thoughts of other guests in the hotel occasionally slipped into his mind, and he grit his teeth every time he heard a thought that wasn’t his own. He really couldn’t give a shit if the couple down the hall worried if the diner across the street was open this early, or the girl in the room above his thought her cosplay had a hole somewhere. 

Jack felt satisfied knowing the anger in his chest was his.

It took all his patience not to snap at people that day. Every fan that came up to him had thoughts running a mile a minute and he could barely form a response with someone else’s words in his head.

The panel that day was hell. Mark avoided him like the plague. Jack could feel the remaining upset from last night, and also pettiness and irritation. But there was something else there, buried deep down beneath these emotions, and Jack didn’t feel like digging it up.

And he really couldn’t, not with pain like this exploding inside his head. Every time he closed his eyes he felt the hands of the thoughts that weren’t his yanking on his optic nerves. He wanted nothing but to sleep, and the thoughts kept him awake.

Again, there was the odd mixture of good and bad emotions. The sources being the crowd in front of the panel stage and the person sitting beside him, respectively. The amount of times someone had to shake his shoulder(Wade was that person; Mark wouldn’t touch him) was too many to count.

During the Q&A someone asked why Jack was so out of it. Before Jack could answer, Mark piped up.

“He gets migraines often,” Mark explained. 

“Could’ve said that myself,” Jack said, with a bit more bite than he intended. “But thanks.”

The audience let out a murmur of laughter, mistaking it all as a joke. Why would they think otherwise? 

But Wade and Felix aren’t fooled. Out of the corner of Jack’s eye, he saw them exchange a look. He could also feel their sudden alarm like sirens above their heads.

There was a tight tension for the remainder of the pane, but Jack doesn’t think the audience knew it. It was obvious Felix and Wade picked up on it though, and they took the role of hosts for the remaining time they had. 

Jack didn’t really know how long that time was, considering his brain was being stampeded by a hundred other thoughts. He only realized it when Felix tapped his shoulder and ushered him to go. 

He blindly followed Felix for a short time. Slowly, he became less confused as the thoughts in his head dwindled, until he realized they were far away from any large crowd. When he finally took his surroundings in, Felix and Wade were in front of him, and Mark was nowhere to be seen.

“What’s going on?” Felix asked, before Jack could ask the same thing.

“Uh, what?” Jack feigned ignorance.

“You know,” Felix insisted. “Why are you and Mark pissed at each other? What happened between the two of you?”

“Nothing, nothing,” Jack said. His chest bubbled. Was it his, or did it come from these two? He wasn’t sure.

“You snapped at him earlier,” Wade added. “That’s not ‘nothing’.”

“What do you want me to say?” Jack asked. “We had a little argument. That’s all."

“Was it about--” Wade began to ask, but shut his mouth before he could finish.

“About _what_?” Jack asked. The two exchanged a glance. Their thoughts leaked into his mind and his anger flared at what he heard. They _knew_.

“About _his feelings for me?”_ Jack couldn’t help burst out. 

They both paled. Blinking in shock, Felix spoke. “We just thought--”

Jack interrupted him. He already knew what he was going to say. “You thought I felt the same? You know septiplier was a _joke_ , right? It wasn’t going to be real from the very beginning!” Lying through his teeth would have hurt if he was in his right mind, but with thousands of thoughts and emotions being processed in his head, he didn’t even feel like his own _person._

“I’m going to my room,” He said in the shocked silence that followed his outburst. Shoving past the other two, he desperately searched for an exit to the huge building. 

The exit was behind a crowd of people. Jack’s head was once again overwhelmed with thoughts that weren’t his. Emotions that weren’t his. It made him sick and dizzy and he just wanted to get to his hotel room.

When he left the building, he wasn’t out of the woods yet. Every noise made him flinch. He didn’t have a ride so he was forced to walk, which took a lot longer than he wanted it to. Every person he passed told him their thoughts and it took real effort not to yell at them to shut up.

It was a miracle he made it to the hotel. It was more of a miracle when he found his hotel room. 

The hotel was blissfully silent. His neighbors weren’t back to their rooms and the only thoughts he picked up were very far away, and very quiet. But that just left the aftermath. 

Jack felt a bubbling in his stomach, and he rushed to the hotel bathroom. Throwing the toilet lid up, he threw up everything he had. The toilet lid bounced on the back of his head.

( _this definitely felt like a hangover_ )

When he emptied his stomach, Jack lost all energy to move. His head slid to the floor of the bathroom and he curled up in a ball, his hands screwed into his eyes to will the pain away.

The pain never went away. He’s not sure how long he stayed like that, but he slowly came to realize more thoughts filtering into his head all around him. If he had his own thoughts, he couldn’t hear them.

Then Jack noticed a thumping somewhere. Not in his head, but in the real world, and it came from his hotel door.

Picking himself up, Jack slowly made his way to the door. A hand gripped his stomach while the other was placed on the wall. He felt a wave of dizziness, but it went away as he shuffled out of the bathroom. 

When the opened the door, he found Mark standing on the other side, fist raised and mouth open as he prepared to yell. His face fell into relief at seeing him. 

“Jack, thank god,” Mark began. “You ran off before I could talk to you - I wanted to say I’m sorry and--” He stopped as Jack rocked on his feet. “Are you okay?”

Jack blinked a couple times. “What? Yeah. I’m f-fine.” Mark’s sudden and strong thoughts and emotions didn’t really help with this nausea situation. He swallowed and grimaced at the taste in his mouth.

Mark wasn’t deterred. Taking a step inside, he reached a hand up to Jack’s head. “Are you sick?”

Jack flinched away from his hand. His thoughts were strong enough an arm’s length away, but touching? Jack might just throw up again.

“No, no, you’re too strong,” He mumbled. 

Mark paused. “ _What?”_

“’M not sick,” Jack said instead. “I can’t--don’t want to be around anyone right now. I can’t listen or--or--” He clapped a hand on his mouth, but the bile stayed in his stomach this time. 

Mark slowly approached him. “It’s your head, isn’t it? Let me help. Please.” His hand was reaching out again. 

Jack shook his head. Despite the pain and the number of random thoughts swimming in his head, he sobered up efficiently. “I-I can’t let you get hurt, Mark.” 

“Why would I get hurt?” Mark asked, letting his hand fall to his side.

His eyes and nose started to sting. Jack squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “I made a mistake, and I hurt my ex, and I don’t want to do the same to you.” He wiped at his eyes furiously. “God, I've been such an ass. I’m sorry.” His throat burned as Jack tried desperately not to start crying like a baby.

A hand settling on his shoulder make Jack start. He looked up in time to see Mark draw him in for a hug.

His thoughts were taken over by Mark’s, but Jack didn’t find that he minded. It was better than a stranger’s, and he already felt comforted by the care he felt from the other. Mark’s hand rubbed soft circles on his back.

“I’m...Not quite sure what you mean,” Mark began. “And I’m not sure you do, either. If you’ll let me, I’d like to help you.”

Jack nodded in Mark’s shoulder and that was all Mark needed. He carefully led Jack to the hotel bed and laid down. Jack followed and buried his face in the base of Mark’s neck. Mark’s hand combed his hair and the other rubbed his back.

It was like an immediate effect. Mark’s emotions were calm and loving, and while there was worry somewhere, it was still a relief from the barrage of thoughts at the convention with no way to stop the flow. The pain in his head had started to dwindle. Sleep came easy.

\----

When Jack woke up, it was with relief and a clear head that he thought he had forgotten.

He could slip his barriers up with ease. Jack nearly jumped with joy when he could only hear his own thoughts and feel his own emotions. 

The warm body beside him wasn’t so bad to wake up to, either.

It seemed that after Jack drifted off, Mark wasn’t far behind. They both fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Mark stirred, even as Jack took great care not to jostle him too much when he tried to sit up. As his eyes blinked open, Jack offered a sheepish smile. Mark rubbed at his eyes as he straightened.

“Feeling better?” Mark asked.

Jack nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.” It was a huge difference now compared to the day before. 

“Awesome,” Mark flashed him a thumbs up. “Now, about what you were saying last night.” Jack froze. “About an ex? Or something?”

Jack swallowed the lump in his throat. He couldn’t avoid this any longer. He nearly destroyed himself trying to avoid it. Sighing, he grasped Mark’s hands.

“Think of something,” Jack demanded.

Mark blinked. “What?”

“Just - think of something! Anything. But don’t say it out loud,” Jack said. 

Mark was clearly at a loss, but nodded nonetheless. “Okay...?”

Jack allowed his barriers to ease, focusing only on Mark’s mind and no one else’s. Confusion was a large factor, but Jack didn’t blame him. His thoughts shuffled though random words before settling on one. The choice mixed with Mark’s blatant confusion was enough to make Jack laugh.

He hid it behind a cough. “Bananas, Mark? That’s your first choice?”

Mark looked surprised. “Are you guessing my thoughts? In that case, lucky guess.”

Jack rolled his eyes. “I can read minds, ya big doof.”

Mark raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Are you trying to avoid talking about last night?”

“No, no! That’s not what I’m doing at all!” Jack shook his head. “Just - humor me.”

Mark didn’t believe him, but still shrugged. “Okay. Then do it again.”

“Fine,” Jack agreed. “Think of something.”

He allowed his barriers to recede again. Jack listened as Mark decided between phrases, not unlike shuffling cards. The one he eventually settled on repeated like a broken record.

“’Herb lore’? I hate you,” Jack laughed.

Mark’s eyes narrowed. He stared at Jack with a calculating look. “...Lucky guess.”

Jack rolled his eyes. “ _Two_ lucky guesses in a row?” Mark said nothing. “Fine, how about you think of a number between 1 and 100 - no, 1 and 1,000! I’ll guess it.”

Mark stared hard at him for a long moment. “Okay.”

Jack heard Mark think of a few answers before deciding on a seemingly random number.

“567,” Jack said. 

The reaction was immediate. Mark’s jaw slackened and his eyes widened. He didn’t say anything for a while.

“I-...Holy shit. You can read minds,” Mark breathed.

Jack laughed. “Yes, yes I can.”

Mark swallowed. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Uh, do you, uh, listen to thoughts...a lot?”

“I try not to!” Jack said quickly. “I know it’s an invasion of privacy. But sometimes the barriers I have aren’t strong enough, and some thoughts slip through.”

Mark’s face reddened. “Have you...listened to my thoughts?”

Yes, Jack could say. In fact, he could hear them right now, and knew exactly what thoughts Mark was referencing. It made his own face bloom red. He couldn’t outright lie, since this entire situation was based on the fact Jack could hear those thoughts in the first place.

At Jack’s long silence, Mark buried his face in his hands.

“Oh god,” Mark mumbled. “Oh god, I’m sorry--”

Jack grabbed Mark’s wrists and pulled his hands away from his face. “It’s okay, I-I feel the same.”

Mark looked up with wide eyes. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Jack said, a smile began to creep on his face as he watched Mark’s relief. Then it vanished. “But I - I can’t.”

Mark stiffened. “What? Why?”

A stab of panic shot through Jack’s gut. “I could make a mistake again, I could ruin everything again--”

“Whoa, what?” Mark stopped him. “What are you talking about?”

Jack’s took a deep breath. “Uh, okay. I’ve had this power all my life. It creeps people out, so I know to keep it a secret. My last ex didn’t know about this power.” He sighed. “I thought we were doing good, we’ve been together for over a year, but then I found something...she was thinking of.” He paused. “It wasn’t on purpose! I don’t go digging through people’s minds on purpose, I feel awful for it, but sometimes I can’t stop it! And I found her thinking of some... _other guy_.” The rage he felt then resurfaced, and Jack clenched his fists. “Thoughts are connected to emotions, you know. And her, thinking of that guy, she felt...she felt the same way when she thought of me.

“I made an assumption. I cornered her one day and confronted her. She yelled at me for looking through her phone and called me horrible names.” He laughed bitterly. “Sometimes, others emotions that I feel can reflect off of me. Her rage fueled mine, and I said equally awful things back. She left the next day, and I never actually found out if she cheated on me or not.” He swallowed. “I don’t want to make that mistake again.”

He looked up and was startled to find his vision blurring. Despite the breakup being well over a year ago, the wounds can easily be reopened.

Jack felt hands gently grasp his. 

“I’m so sorry, Jack,” Mark said. “It sounds like you made the right choice. I mean, why else would she accuse you of looking through her phone?”

Jack pulled one hand away to wipe at his eyes, but Mark’s comment reassured him. 

“So, that’s why you’ve been so distant lately?” Mark asked. 

Jack nodded. “The headaches I get are from the overwhelming mess of thoughts I deal with at conventions. Headaches make it harder to keep my barriers up, and with other’s thoughts in my head, it’s hard to think clearly. I’m sorry I acted awful this weekend.” Jack knew Mark didn’t quite understand, but it seemed Mark was making an effort. That’s all Jack really wanted.

Mark’s hand lifted to cup Jack’s cheek. “It’s okay. I understand.”

Initially stiffening from the action, Jack relaxed against Mark’s hand. Mark’s thumb gently rubbed the skin under Jack’s eye.

Mark was the one who leaned in, and Jack waited with baited breath.

Then a phone chime went off and startled them both enough to break the tension. Smiling sheepishly, Jack reached for the nightstand and grabbed his phone sitting on top.

“It’s Felix,” He said. “He’s wondering where we are. Shit, we were supposed to meet them for breakfast, weren’t we?”

“Oh, yeah,” Mark said, somewhat distantly.

They sat in a tense, awkward silence. Jack had put his barriers up the minute Mark had pulled his hand from his cheek, but now he was tempted to lift them if only to know what the other was thinking.

Then Mark leaned forward and pecked Jack’s cheek. 

“I’ll leave you to get ready,” Mark said, and stood up to head for the door.

Jack watched him go, his fingers brushing his cheek and a smile on his face.

\----

They didn’t have a lot of down time to talk that day. It’s always busy at conventions, so they only see each other in passing. They take these opportunities for a light brush of hands, or a quick, secret peck on the cheek. 

Felix and Wade have noticed the sudden change in their relationship, but if they know it goes farther than friendship, Jack isn’t sure.

The only time they were alone that day was the late evening, when Jack’s head throbbed from that day’s stress. Mark knew better than to start a conversation, since they both know that Jack is not in a right state of mind to hold one.

Cuddling up to Mark’s side with a cold wash cloth to his neck had the same effect it always had. Jack sat up with a clear head after an hour, but even then they couldn’t properly talk about their relationship, as Mark had fallen asleep. Jack left without waking him up - but quickly kissed his forehead beforehand.

The following day was not a convention day, but Jack’s flight was that afternoon, as was everyone else’s. They all woke up early to see the sights in the city, but the day passed quicker than any of them would have wanted.

Jack’s flight was taking off first that day. They all rode in one car to the airport to see him off.

Felix pulled him in first, and Jack hated that other’s emotions reflect onto him, because his friend’s upset made him even _more_ upset. Wade grabbed him next, and then finally there was Mark.

Mark hesitated, and Jack happened to hear how much Mark wanted to kiss him before they couldn’t meet in person for months. But then Mark worried about Jack not liking it. 

Jack rolled his eyes, and shot Mark a knowing look before wrapping his arms around his neck and pressing their lips together.

Mark made a little surprised sound, but was quick to wrap his arms around Jack’s middle. His thoughts were a complete mess, but ultimately it read as ‘ _finally’._ Jack was along the same road.

They parted to catch their breath, but they remained close enough their noses brushed. That was, until someone cleared their throat, and they remembered Wade and Felix were still there.

They jumped away from each other, faces hot and nervous. Wade had his eyebrows raised, while Felix tried to stifle his giggles.

“Well, that’s quite a goodbye,” Wade commented.

Felix just laughed and mumbled something like ‘it’s about time’.

Jack sighed in relief, and opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off as fingers tilted his face and Mark was pressing a final kiss to his lips. This one was shorter, but somehow more sweet.

Then their final goodbyes were exchanged, and Jack boarded his plane. The same empty, hollow feeling festered whenever he left, and this time it was worse. His only solace was knowing he’d be coming back, and hopefully soon. It was enough to lift his spirits a little. 

He fell asleep on the flight, dreaming of what’s to come.


End file.
